Few things feel better than that first big smile of recognition from a new grandchild. It often kicks off a relationship that can fill your heart with love and your head with pride for many years to come.
Guiding a child and keeping them on track is primarily the responsibility of the parents, which means the grandparents can step in for the fun and adventure!
Here are some ideas for navigating grandparenthood to help your grandchildren have fun and be safe.
Babies and Toddlers: Keeping Them Engaged and Safe
Love the library: Libraries are perfect places for grandparents and grandchildren—with story and craft hours, or just as a comfy place to explore the world of ideas. You don’t need a library card, but if you can get one, you also can borrow some of the books and other media to enjoy later.
Be crafty: Encourage kids to put away their screens and help them appreciate their creativity by making something simple and fun. Paper plate crafts have lots of options, from painting every letter of the alphabet to making flowers and faces.
Encourage the Cookie Monster: Baking with your grandchildren is pure fun. Buy some simple cookie cutters and choose some sprinkles to decorate with. Let the kids choose the colors and the flavors. Don’t be surprised if they love playing with the whisk as much as they enjoy eating the cookies.
Be sure to follow all safety measures when baking or cooking alongside a little loved one. Remember these tips to tame that kitchen flame.
Start a tradition: Going to special holiday events—Halloween parties, Thanksgiving walks, and Christmas and New Year’s celebrations—are fun for everybody. But having grandparents along will only make things more memorable.
Make waves: Taking a young child to swim lessons does involve a time commitment, but it can also be a priceless gift that’ll help keep them safe for the rest of their lives. Organizations like the YMCA offer adult-child swim classes for children as young as six months.
Rock the park: Regular trips to climbing structures and other play areas at the park strengthen muscles and make memories. The benefits of climbing, swinging, and sliding are more than physical. These structures also are good for the brain, experts say, as children explore, follow their curiosity, and socialize with peers.
While you are enjoying time with your grandchildren, it’s also important to be cautious. The Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) outlines particularly dangerous areas for babies and toddlers. If it’s been a while since you’ve had small children around, make sure you review the website for modern safety concerns. Some of these include:
- Unstable chests of drawers, especially when there is a TV on the top.
- Magnetic building sets, especially ones marketed to little ones with small pieces that can be easily swallowed.
- Any body of water, like a pool, lake or ocean.
No matter where you are together, even if they’re just enjoying time at your house, it’s important to keep them close. If on an outing, especially where there is a crowd, consider dressing them in a distinctive piece of clothing—a bright hat or outfit—so they are easy to spot. Teach older children their name and address. If they aren’t old enough for that, pin your name and mobile phone number someplace where it will be noticed.
Elementary-Aged Grandkids: Activities and Safety Protocols
Be fun!: Do activities with your grandchildren that are also fun for you. (Bonus: It can be even more enjoyable for them if the activities are ones their parents aren’t often engaging them in.) Take them on an engaging nature hike with binoculars or play with the sprinkler in the yard and cut your own bouquets to gift to others. Weather isn’t cooperating? Bust out an old record, introduce them to your favorite song or music genre, and have a dance party!
Go back to basics: Hopscotch, jump rope, four square and playing jacks or pick-up sticks are all still fun. Card and board games are perfect for rainy days and overnight visits.
Show up with support: With busy schedules, it can be hard for parents to be there for all of their kids’ events, so if you have more flexibility in your schedule, cheer on your soccer players, ballerinas, musicians and other budding stars whenever you can.
As children get older and their world gets bigger, it can be more difficult for them to understand a ‘safety first’ approach. Spending time with you provides an opportunity to reinforce positive and safe choices.
- Let them know what’s okay and what isn’t: Kids this age have an abundance of energy. They want to run and climb. Teach them to be smart about things that are potentially dangerous. Jumping on the bed is one thing—jumping off the porch roof is quite another.
- Get the right car equipment: When taking the kids on errands or a special day trip, make sure you have the right equipment in your car. The laws are different in every state, but, in general, children should use a car or booster seat. Keep your grandchildren in a car seat up to age four and a booster seat at least through age 12, always in the back seat.
- Supervise the home gym: You may want to keep the door to your home gym locked unless you are right there with the kids. Doctors warn that treadmills in particular can be dangerous for young ones.
- Monitor your home: Make sure there are smoke and carbon dioxide monitors near spare bedrooms where grandchildren might stay. Some of these devices only last a half-dozen years, so be sure yours aren’t expired and test them once a month to ensure they’re working. It is also a good idea to have fire extinguishers, especially in the kitchen. They, too, need routine checks to help ensure they’re still functioning.
The Hartford’s Junior Fire Marshal program is fun way to teach your grandkids about fire safety.
Teens: Building Connection and Safe Habits
Share a meal: Cooking and eating together is a wonderful way to keep a teenager coming back for more. Supervising and teaching while the teen learns to make your family favorites is fun, and makes it more likely that your food traditions remain in the family.
Keep embracing tech: Ask your teen what their favorite app is or who their favorite content creators are. Show interest and watch their favorite clips with them. Offer to make your own TikTok’s based on the latest trends. Chances are, your teenage grandkiddo is well-versed in social media, but that doesn’t mean they have to be scrolling in solitude when they’re at your house. Meet them where they are and find fun and creative ways to engage with them while they’re online. This can also include video games, which studies show, are more fun when played with a buddy.
Listen to them: This stage can be a challenge for parents, but grandparents can offer comfort and understanding in what is often a time of adjustment and expanding independence. Having someone listen—really listen—is a gift at every age. But at this age it is especially gratifying. Besides making your teen grands happy, listening will give you special access. If they are doing something that you feel is unsafe, then you can be a voice of reason without shaming. If you can, make these conversations face to face. A big hug can say a lot more than words.
Share family history: If there are school assignments about events that you and older relatives have participated in, share that information and photos if you have them. Let them know the role their ancestors had in history.
Go on vacation: A trip with grandparents can make memories for both of you. Amusement parks, state parks and big cities are always fun, but you might also consider being more adventurous—whitewater rafting down the Grand Canyon can instill a love of nature that never fades and memories that’ll last a lifetime.
While being a good role model is important to portray with kids of all ages, at this age, teaching your grandchildren how to be safe takes on another dimension as they start to drive.
- Always use your seat belt and turn signals, and come to a full stop at signs and lights. Lead by example.
- Don’t drive distracted! Help your grandchild understand the dangers of distracted driving, which extends further than just texting and driving. Chatting with a friend in the passenger seat, quickly looking through a bag or even eating all take your attention off the road.
- If you’ve had a drink, don’t take the keys.
Get expert tips and advice to help you prepare and protect the teen drivers in your life. Download your free PDF guide developed by The Hartford’s corporate gerontologists.
And, before handing your keys over to your teen grandchild, make sure to check with your car insurance provider to ensure you understand what is—and isn’t—covered. If your grandchild will be driving your car often or even co-living with you, you’ll want to update your policy to include them.
Adult Grandchildren: Maintaining a Strong Bond
Share the memories: Go through old pictures of them and people they know and create a simple book as a keepsake. If you have old videos, make a memory movie.
Pass on important things now: Look at what you have around the house that you would like for them to have later and do it now while you can still pass along the reason you love it and why you want to share it. This can include art, jewelry and other keepsakes.
Take them with you: If you love the lake, invite them there for a fun weekend. If you delight in the Grand Canyon, show them your favorite parts. Make the trip just them and you, or encourage them to bring their significant other. If they have kids of their own, help them find a babysitter all of you can trust or bring them along for the ride, too. Multi-generational vacations can be particularly fun.
Be a trusted ally: Everyone needs a trusted support system. This is especially true for young adults who are making decisions that will affect them for the rest of their lives. Giving your grandchildren a safe and nonjudgmental place to vent is a tremendous gift, whether that’s in person or through Facetime.
Help out around their house: Whether they’re renting an apartment with friends or own their own home with a partner or solo, pitch in to help around the house. Even if it’s just doing the dishes or helping to spruce up their patio. The gesture will go a long way. (Plus, while you’re there, it’s a good opportunity to ensure their home is safe.)
Remember important occasions: Call on their birthday. Send a Christmas gift. Congratulate them on their new jobs, big promotions, new apartments and new cars.
Love the ones who love them: Get to know their friends and significant other and appreciate for yourself why your grandchild thinks they’re special. Plus, it’ll make your grandchild feel even more welcome around you.
Provide support. This doesn’t have to mean money. A good meal, a listening and non-judgmental ear, a place to sleep and household goods are all valuable and appreciated at any age. At the end of the day, being a safe space for your loved ones is a gift that’ll last a lifetime—for both of you.
“Grandchildren are the dots that connect the lines from generation to generation,” wrote Lois Wyse, the author of Funny, You Don’t Look Like a Grandmother. The joy of being a grandparent is great. And you can enjoy it at every stage with these tips, and your own learnings along the way.